A New Take

I have always considered myself a happy person. I have always justified my occasional unhappiness with life events that maybe didn't happen as planned (self esteem issues with my outer appearance, hurt feelings with misunderstandings, feeling lonely because of busy life schedules...you get the picture).
So it came as a surprise when I started feeling happier, with little to no effort, after my doctor prescribed me an antidepressant meant to treat my pseudotumor. During my appointment last week, my doctor changed course with my treatment in an attempt to treat the head ache instead of the condition. I am no longer on the diuretic, so my head aches are very real, they are no longer the result of the medicine's side effects. They do not last all day every day, but they are extremely painful!
Before...I felt very sad, wanting to be able to live my life as I wished, instead of being limited to what I felt good enough to do. Before...I was not hopeful for a cure, and it seemed I would be painfully ill forever. Before...I wanted to believe that I would make it through, but I couldn't see how. Before...I felt completely hopeless and most days wanted to curl up in a ball, forget about life, with no interruptions. Before...I counted the hours till little Peyson's bed time, and after bed time, I avoided sleep because that meant a new day would soon come, and I dreaded mornings, because I knew a new day would be just as bad as the one before. Before...I was trying so hard to accept what I was struggling with, and trying to endure with little success. Before...I was in a bad place.
Now...I am still in immense pain, and very often, however, I feel emotionally stable to be able to endure. Now...I find joy in my every day life. Now...I wake up excited to see what Peyson will learn and do during the day. Now...I find myself smiling and feeling sincere happiness. Now...while I don't know when I will be better, I know I can make it through. Now...I am in a good place.
Before...I was...depressed.
Now...I am being treated...and am happy.
With this experience, I learned I had no idea I needed help in this way...but I have accepted that this is my reality. I love feeling happy, without trying to convince myself that it is so. My condition is still a work in progress, but I can make it through.