Nobody can escape the chatter of New Years Resolutions. I find it interesting that a lot of the time, change of any kind isn't considered until the day we are scribbling out last years date and replacing it with the new. But in a way it's good because maybe we would forget altogether to step back to make sure we are in check with the person we want to be. I love to hear others' resolutions. I find interest in the things they feel are important to improve on. But I believe that if change must be made, it isn't magically revealed when the new year hits.
Nevertheless, reading or hearing about the things people want to change in their own lives makes me stop and think of what I would like to change or improve for myself. Not only the resolutions of others, but also books I have read where character flaws are the flaws I see in me, local news tragedies where lives were lost too soon, views about me from family members that offend me because they are true, opinions from friends, and my own on-going goals make me reflect on the things I need to improve on.
Being a mother has taught me a lot of things. And will continue to until...well...forever.
*Children become restless and grumpy when they are tired
*No matter how or what you teach your children, they still get to choose to act the way they want
*Children imitate what they see and hear
*Nice voices don't always work in every situation
*They have more energy than I can dream up
*They don't know everything you know, so you can't expect them to
*They love you more than you know
*Only in your dreams are there perfect children:)
The list goes on, we all know. But the one thing they all have in common is this. The only way to understand or handle the wonders of parenthood is through patience; patience with your children, patience with yourself, patience with others. Of all the things I could learn as a mother, the most important is one thing I've learned about me. And that one thing is my life long resolution...learn patience.
There is so much in this world to love. And it is really so easy. But without patience, those wonderful things cannot be seen. I don't have patience...at...all! And with that, there are a ton of not so lovely traits that accompany. If you tried to describe me in a word, easily you could use complainer! I won't sugar coat anything or pretend my life is perfect, that is for sure...but if patience was one of my talents, I would be able to look for the good in all things. And I wouldn't annoy myself with my complaints. But I have my moments where patience succeeds and I taste of the true happiness and love this world has to offer. I crave those moments like an addict craves their drug of choice.
And so, while the world starts out on their resolutions, and as statistics show, they will have been failed and forgotten by March, I will still continue to learn patience, failing daily, but not forgetting, always striving to add to my list of talents, patience.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Happy Birthday Peyson Bug
Peyson turned 3 yesterday! Amazing. 
The day before he helped me make a sheet cake. We put it in the fridge so it would be easier to frost. He kept asking for cake but I told him it wasn't ready yet. That night after he went to sleep, I went to work on the cake while Derek blew up balloons to leave out on the floor. Two hours later this is what my magic worked up.
I put it downstairs so he wouldn't get into it. But then that night I kept having nightmares that it was dropped or ruined somehow. It was awful. And really silly! :)
The next morning when he woke up at his usual...6:00am...he found the balloons. I was in and out of sleep since the cake decorating the night before warranted a muscle relaxer that totally knocks me out. But I heard his excitement. He saw the presents and kept asking..for me?...for me? Derek got up and made sure he was ok with his cartoons and told him he had to wait a little while. Later I awoke to "hey guys...I need my presents! Come on...I need my presents!" I had planned to let him open them throughout the day but he wanted them all. So after the first one I told him to play with it a little while and he could open another one later. He quickly put his airplanes down and said I'm done, put them down and was ready for more:)
At some point he ran to the fridge and opened it and said...my cake is gone...you eat it all mom? He was really concerned! :) Then there was mail from grandmas and lots of fun with his new toys. We went to McDonalds for dinner and let him play in the play place. He made a little friend and had lots of fun. Then we came home for cake and one last gift. My, did his face light up when he saw the cake:)
And finally after 3 years, he dove into his cake without being concerned about getting dirty.
He did ask to wash his hands as soon as they got dirty:) Then he was ready for a shower. And right before bed, Uncle Dallin, Aunt Kyla, and Grandma Hoopes called and sang Happy Birthday! He loved it, grinning from ear to ear:)
We are really blessed with such a sweet, happy, funny little boy. Even when he isn't so charming...he is a doll and I am glad he is my little man.
The day before he helped me make a sheet cake. We put it in the fridge so it would be easier to frost. He kept asking for cake but I told him it wasn't ready yet. That night after he went to sleep, I went to work on the cake while Derek blew up balloons to leave out on the floor. Two hours later this is what my magic worked up.
I put it downstairs so he wouldn't get into it. But then that night I kept having nightmares that it was dropped or ruined somehow. It was awful. And really silly! :)The next morning when he woke up at his usual...6:00am...he found the balloons. I was in and out of sleep since the cake decorating the night before warranted a muscle relaxer that totally knocks me out. But I heard his excitement. He saw the presents and kept asking..for me?...for me? Derek got up and made sure he was ok with his cartoons and told him he had to wait a little while. Later I awoke to "hey guys...I need my presents! Come on...I need my presents!" I had planned to let him open them throughout the day but he wanted them all. So after the first one I told him to play with it a little while and he could open another one later. He quickly put his airplanes down and said I'm done, put them down and was ready for more:)
At some point he ran to the fridge and opened it and said...my cake is gone...you eat it all mom? He was really concerned! :) Then there was mail from grandmas and lots of fun with his new toys. We went to McDonalds for dinner and let him play in the play place. He made a little friend and had lots of fun. Then we came home for cake and one last gift. My, did his face light up when he saw the cake:)
And finally after 3 years, he dove into his cake without being concerned about getting dirty.
He did ask to wash his hands as soon as they got dirty:) Then he was ready for a shower. And right before bed, Uncle Dallin, Aunt Kyla, and Grandma Hoopes called and sang Happy Birthday! He loved it, grinning from ear to ear:)We are really blessed with such a sweet, happy, funny little boy. Even when he isn't so charming...he is a doll and I am glad he is my little man.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
7 Weeks
Today was a hard day. I planned to be at church a little bit early to set up my classroom for the lesson I had prepared. Last night my back hurt so bad so I took a muscle relaxer to help. I don't sleep well anymore, especially now waking up with painful contractions and more trips to the bathroom. But throughout the night when I do sleep after I take my meds, I always sleep so deep and feel stoned when I wake up. It's hard to get out of bed. But 7:00 came just the same.
As I was bringing myself to consciousness I could hear Peyson say...mommy my hands are dirty. I could already picture the mess he made. And there he was sitting in front of the heat vent in the living room, library book in hand, saying...mommy i woo-und my wibary book. Diaper rash cream covered one page, his hands, his feet, his nose, the floor, the wipe box(he tried to clean up I suppose), the side of the bookshelf, and the bottle itself.
I was less than charming and he knew he was in trouble. He knows when he's in trouble, I mean really in trouble, and he chatters non stop slowly succeeding to lesson my anger and help me forgive.
It almost worked...eventually it did...but I was still 30 minutes behind on a day I was supposed to be ahead. The carpet never did come clean. Gross.
We got to church still with time to do everything I needed to do. It was Ward Conference today so on top of our already full chapel, there were stake leaders to take up more seats and create more heat. It was beyond uncomfortable from the start. My program was made into a fan and it flapped the whole meeting. My back was already acting out so multiple sitting positions were tried in an attempt to find some kind of comfort. No such luck. Lots of contractions are happening now, some hurt, some don't. My poor belly. Ouch. And my feet and hands decided they wanted to be fat and swollen today...couldn't wear my fake wedding ring that is supposed to fit because my real one doesn't. And the shoes I bought just weeks ago were nearly too small to wear at all. Miserable.
During the first hour of Primary, Peyson's teacher came and got me to change his diaper. This is Derek's job on Sunday since I do teach in Primary, so I walked the length of the hall to his class. My face must have said a thousand words because so many people stopped to ask if I was ok. I am ok, just pregnant.
The last hour of church went very well actually. My class is quite rowdy mostly all the time. Last week I told them that if they couldn't listen I would put their names on the board and after 5 checks their parents would be asked to accompany them the next week so they could behave. It worked maybe a little too well...I asked them how their week was and they stared back. I asked if they did anything fun and they stared back. I mentioned they were quiet today and they said, "well remember, you have that name thing on the board." For just a small second I felt bad that they felt scared to even talk, but I appreciated their forced "reverence." After the fun treasure hunt first thing, they came to life once again and with only 2 of the 4 kiddos there, class was good. But even I could detect my tired demeanor, this day wearing on me already.
As we were making our way through the church after meetings, too many people asked/commented in the kindest way...
*when is your baby due?
*any day now?
*you look like you could pop any day!
*are you feeling ok?
And any other day I wouldn't have cared...even would have laughed. But today...you can imagine...
As we walked out of the church I turned to Derek and said I need to stop coming to church. People make me feel huge. He said that most people wear maternity shirts that fit loose. I said that I would rather look cute than feel like I was wearing a shower curtain. So I guess the seemingly harmless comments will continue until this little darling arrives.
This pregnancy is so much different from the last. And not in a good way. It is exhausting to think I still have 7 weeks. It is exhausting every time my back starts to hurt. It is exhausting to walk and move. Life keeps going, but I feel like I am at half speed. I am physically, mentally, and emotionally spent.
As I was bringing myself to consciousness I could hear Peyson say...mommy my hands are dirty. I could already picture the mess he made. And there he was sitting in front of the heat vent in the living room, library book in hand, saying...mommy i woo-und my wibary book. Diaper rash cream covered one page, his hands, his feet, his nose, the floor, the wipe box(he tried to clean up I suppose), the side of the bookshelf, and the bottle itself.
I was less than charming and he knew he was in trouble. He knows when he's in trouble, I mean really in trouble, and he chatters non stop slowly succeeding to lesson my anger and help me forgive.
It almost worked...eventually it did...but I was still 30 minutes behind on a day I was supposed to be ahead. The carpet never did come clean. Gross.
We got to church still with time to do everything I needed to do. It was Ward Conference today so on top of our already full chapel, there were stake leaders to take up more seats and create more heat. It was beyond uncomfortable from the start. My program was made into a fan and it flapped the whole meeting. My back was already acting out so multiple sitting positions were tried in an attempt to find some kind of comfort. No such luck. Lots of contractions are happening now, some hurt, some don't. My poor belly. Ouch. And my feet and hands decided they wanted to be fat and swollen today...couldn't wear my fake wedding ring that is supposed to fit because my real one doesn't. And the shoes I bought just weeks ago were nearly too small to wear at all. Miserable.
During the first hour of Primary, Peyson's teacher came and got me to change his diaper. This is Derek's job on Sunday since I do teach in Primary, so I walked the length of the hall to his class. My face must have said a thousand words because so many people stopped to ask if I was ok. I am ok, just pregnant.
The last hour of church went very well actually. My class is quite rowdy mostly all the time. Last week I told them that if they couldn't listen I would put their names on the board and after 5 checks their parents would be asked to accompany them the next week so they could behave. It worked maybe a little too well...I asked them how their week was and they stared back. I asked if they did anything fun and they stared back. I mentioned they were quiet today and they said, "well remember, you have that name thing on the board." For just a small second I felt bad that they felt scared to even talk, but I appreciated their forced "reverence." After the fun treasure hunt first thing, they came to life once again and with only 2 of the 4 kiddos there, class was good. But even I could detect my tired demeanor, this day wearing on me already.
As we were making our way through the church after meetings, too many people asked/commented in the kindest way...
*when is your baby due?
*any day now?
*you look like you could pop any day!
*are you feeling ok?
And any other day I wouldn't have cared...even would have laughed. But today...you can imagine...
As we walked out of the church I turned to Derek and said I need to stop coming to church. People make me feel huge. He said that most people wear maternity shirts that fit loose. I said that I would rather look cute than feel like I was wearing a shower curtain. So I guess the seemingly harmless comments will continue until this little darling arrives.
This pregnancy is so much different from the last. And not in a good way. It is exhausting to think I still have 7 weeks. It is exhausting every time my back starts to hurt. It is exhausting to walk and move. Life keeps going, but I feel like I am at half speed. I am physically, mentally, and emotionally spent.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
F.H.E.
Peyson really loves going to nursery. A lot. After church I always ask him what he learned and usually the response is "pay wiff da tigers...raaarrr!" But when he actually started telling me what he learned I decided it was time we start having Family Home Evening. No more slackin.
While we were home for Christmas Break I asked my mom if she had any good books I could borrow. I found a picture book called "My First Book of Mormon" so I opened it up and took a look. The wheels started turning...this was our new FHE lesson book.
Last week was our first try at this new part of our routine. It was rough. Close to bedtime says it all. Anyway. We learned about Lehi's dream of the tree of life and the iron rod. After the story I got out the "iron rod" (the broom handle), we turned off the lights, and we held on to the iron rod to reach the tree of life where Lehi (daddy) was waiting with the delicious fruit of the tree (sour patch kids). Peyson thought I was insane for playing with the broom handle. He didn't like the dark. And sour patch kids are "too sourd" so he didn't want any. Then there was a crazy fit and a quick wrap up and our first go was somewhat successful. At least we made it through:)
This week I looked at the book ahead of time and got an idea and a super plan. We went to the dollar store and came home with a bow and arrow toy set.
While we were home for Christmas Break I asked my mom if she had any good books I could borrow. I found a picture book called "My First Book of Mormon" so I opened it up and took a look. The wheels started turning...this was our new FHE lesson book.
Last week was our first try at this new part of our routine. It was rough. Close to bedtime says it all. Anyway. We learned about Lehi's dream of the tree of life and the iron rod. After the story I got out the "iron rod" (the broom handle), we turned off the lights, and we held on to the iron rod to reach the tree of life where Lehi (daddy) was waiting with the delicious fruit of the tree (sour patch kids). Peyson thought I was insane for playing with the broom handle. He didn't like the dark. And sour patch kids are "too sourd" so he didn't want any. Then there was a crazy fit and a quick wrap up and our first go was somewhat successful. At least we made it through:)
This week I looked at the book ahead of time and got an idea and a super plan. We went to the dollar store and came home with a bow and arrow toy set.
We learned about when Lehi's family was in the wilderness and Nephi's bow broke and they couldn't hunt for food so they were all hungry and began to murmur. All accept Nephi. So he made a new bow and asked Lehi where to go hunting. Lehi repented for murmuring and asked the Lord where to send Nephi.
(Tigger stepped in as our wild animal:) )
Peyson is a lot like me...no patience...so he was getting very frustrated when he couldn't shoot the bow.
We all took turns. Lots of turns. We had a successful hunt and Nephi's family ate very well:) We closed FHE and continued to shoot Tigger till Peyson got it down with very little help from me.
You hear testimonies over and over of how the simple things of the gospel strengthen your family. And all they are to you are silly repetitions that define Mormon behavior...that is...until...you gain the testimony for yourself. Even after our very rough 1st FHE I felt peace all week because we are trying to do what we have been counselled to do to strengthen our family. And with every week, it will get better...it already has. Soon it will be what we do each Monday night and glitches will be few and far between.
I love seeing Peyson learn, but it's ten times better when what he is learning is brought to pass by the Spirit.
Friday, January 7, 2011
He Doesn't Get It
So for the last six months we have not paid for TV. Then our internet special was up and we had to search for another. We found that for the same price of just internet we could get internet and basic cable. So we did. Even with basic cable we find that there is never anything on...or it's just junk! However, there are cartoons every morning for Peyson to enjoy. This is great and not so great all at the same time.
Great because...
*he wakes up way too early, so he just walks into the living room, turns on the TV and hangs till Derek gets up to get ready for work
*the shows are somewhat interactive and educational(is that me justifying his TV habits?)
*I can get some things done while he is engaged
Not so great because...
*he tends to want to watch TV for hours and I tend to let him(I blame it on the morning sickness and exhaustion...possibly a little lazy mixed in)
*he doesn't get the idea that he doesn't get to pick what he watches
*when a show is over, it's over and he can't watch it again
So every morning has some tears from Peyson and frustration from mom trying to explain the concept. But it proves useless...every...single...day. And then we get over it. Gotta love cable:)
Great because...
*he wakes up way too early, so he just walks into the living room, turns on the TV and hangs till Derek gets up to get ready for work
*the shows are somewhat interactive and educational(is that me justifying his TV habits?)
*I can get some things done while he is engaged
Not so great because...
*he tends to want to watch TV for hours and I tend to let him(I blame it on the morning sickness and exhaustion...possibly a little lazy mixed in)
*he doesn't get the idea that he doesn't get to pick what he watches
*when a show is over, it's over and he can't watch it again
So every morning has some tears from Peyson and frustration from mom trying to explain the concept. But it proves useless...every...single...day. And then we get over it. Gotta love cable:)
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